February 7, 2014
Who inspired today's broken heart song?
A young woman who got pregnant by a drug user when she was nineteen years old. When she told the father, he threw her across the room (she was three weeks along in her pregnancy). She now has an amazing son, but still can't trust men. This woman started her e-mail with, "I don't feel beautiful." Those words really struck me, and inspired this song.
This song took me back to a few years ago when I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. It felt strange having to go back to that place in time, emotionally, in order to write this song for this woman. Confidence is always so much easier said than done, and it's certainly harder for those lacking support and love in their lives. I don't know this woman, but I do know that she's beautiful, and I hope that one day she realizes that.
Where did you play?
59th Street – Columbus Circle. This was the second time I've performed at that station. I have to say, the underground is starting to feel like home.
How much did you earn?
$5.63 - I accidentally slept in this morning and missed the rush hour peak again. I can't say I regret it though because I really needed that extra hour and a half of sleep.
Did anything unusual happen?
There was a guy with sunglasses on that stood right in front of me as I was singing, and stayed there staring for what felt like a really long time. In the middle of my song, he asked me if I smoked. I replied, "No" (caught on camera). He shook his head in disappointment, turned around, and then opened his hand to show me a joint. I know my friends who are reading this are laughing at me right now. Let's just say when one of my friends said she brought tea for the evening, I excitingly thought she meant actual tea.
I also had a few people take my picture today. It's slightly awkward because I'm never sure if I should smile or ignore them, haha. I also wish picture day had been another day this week when I didn't look so tired, and had decided to brush my hair. Sigh. It's a part of the subway look I suppose, or at least I can tell myself that.
Oh, and my favorite part of the day was when a train conductor started singing with me as the train came by. He yelled, "That's a great song!" And just sang along while the train was there. It made me smile.
Did you meet anyone interesting?
I did! I chatted with the sweetest woman today. She was dressed so beautifully, and was concerned about my voice. Turns out, she was a jazz singer and pianist when she was my age. She said she never pursued it, but really admires what I'm doing. She stood right next to me and listened to me sing until her train arrived.
What's the best advice you received from a stranger?
The woman I met suggested I get a microphone to save my voice, however, I think that would mean I would need an amplifier, thus a permit. It's a good idea though!
How are you feeling?
Sleepy. My energy really dies out by the end of the week, but after tomorrow, I have a day off, and then two days of office work. I like that work is the closest I get to 'relaxing' time now, haha. This song is somewhat appropriate for my life right now. I think one thing I've noticed and hate about break ups is how insecure they can make you. I spent most of my life working really hard to be confident and secure with the woman I am, and feel like I definitely got there. However, I feel like I'm having to build myself back up to that place again. All in time, I suppose. Forcing myself to sing in front of crowds of commuters a day certainly helps, haha.
Because I'm crazy, I committed to babysitting until midnight tonight, and to a full day photo shoot on Sunday. And somewhere in that mix, I have to start writing songs for next week. I always say this, but I think I really might have to start drinking coffee.
Also, I want to do something fun for my performance on Valentine's Day. I might pass out paper hearts with love quotes. Other suggestions? Any covers you guys want to hear me play? Let me know!
© 2014 Kelly Bazely