May 28, 2014
Who inspired today's broken heart song?
A woman who is heartbroken because her girlfriend has kept their love in secrecy for nine years. The woman is out, and her girlfriend is not. The woman feels like her girlfriend isn't proud to be with her, and is ashamed of their love.
Her message was short, but bitter and angry. I initially thought that was energy I would put into this song. But as I sat down at my piano, I imagined the love that they have shared for many years. And instead of writing a resentful song, I decided I wanted to focus on their love. I thought maybe it could even inspire the girlfriend to come out.
The woman's brokenness is heard in the verses, but in the chorus she confesses her love to her girlfriend. She says that she is her everything, and she would be lost without her. She asks her to fight for her, to be honest and to set them free. The bridge (often my favorite part of my songs) is an even more climatic proclamation of her love: "You're the love of my life, so don't worry. It doesn't matter what they say. Just be you."
Where did you play?
Grand Central – 42nd St.
How much did you earn?
Did anything unusual happen?
I was playing near the Ebony Hillbillies again today, my favorite subway musicians. Needless to say, they stole the show so my donations were few. I wasn't as nervous today as I anticipated. There was a man who walked by in a business suit and nodded his head, giving me a thumbs up. I was singing today's song and halfway through, I noticed another man leaning on a column listening to me with a sincere smile on his face. When I met his eyes, I think he got nervous because he turned around and walked away.
There were two paramedics that came by asking about the project. The more talkative one told me that he didn't have a broken heart story to share. On the contrary, he said he is the one who breaks other people's hearts. The more quiet one took a card and seemed genuinely interested.
I saw two policeman approaching slowly, and started to get really anxious. So naturally, I started playing and singing really loud. Luckily, they walked away. I never feared cops as much I do now in my life (even though I know I'm not doing anything illegal).
There was a woman who stopped and dropped a coin when I was checking my phone between songs. I looked up, slightly embarrassed because I wasn't singing, and said thank you. Before I could start playing, she said, "I don't have time to hear you sing, but good luck!"
Did you meet anyone interesting?
As I was singing and playing, an older woman with a heavy accent came up to me with a piece of paper. It was the results from her eye exam. She asked me to help her because she couldn't understand it. After seeing a lot of green and "good" spread across the page, I told her she seems to be in good shape. She folded up the paper and put it away, but hesitant, she pulled it out again and asked me several times to make sure everything was okay. When I asked her about her broken heart story, she told me that the only story she has to tell is about Jesus. She proceeded to ask me if I sung church music because she is a minister who does broadcasting, and is looking for musicians to sing with her. She complimented my music and told me she wanted to help me fulfill my destiny. She then gave me a donation, and took a card so that she could e-mail me a couple songs to learn.
Two young high school boys approached me in between songs to ask about the project. One of them, Alex (goes by AJ), was wearing a Black Veil t-shirt and dark red beanie. He bravely told me his broken heart story in detail on the spot. His best friend (also the cousin of his ex-girlfriend) sat down on his backpack next to him as he narrated his story. As much as I would love to share it with you now, I'm going to save it for another blog post. I will leave you with a spoiler though. The song is going to be titled, "Waiting For Irene."
What's the best advice you received from a stranger?
I did not receive any advice today, but instead I'm going to use this as an opportunity to post a few interviews and documentaries that have recently come out of Fifty Days Underground. I feel beyond fortunate and grateful for each of these wonderful experiences:
How are you feeling?
I'm feeling renewed as I start performing again. I'm also really excited that the end is near. It feels just yesterday I was nervously walking to my local subway stop on a bitter, cold and snowy winter day. I was uncertain that I'd be able to get through that one day, let alone fifty. And now it's quite surreal that I'm only eight performances away from the finish line I set for myself a few months ago. Although I'd be lying if I said I was completely healed from my breakup (I still go through emotional waves), I am a changed woman. I am confident. I am fulfilled. And I am stronger than ever before. *insert fist pump emoticon here*
I met with a young woman and actor today who I haven't seen since we were in college in Nova Scotia six years ago. She's in the city for a few months taking an acting course, and graciously accepted to be in the Fifty Days Underground show. I'm so thrilled about the talented artists that are on board, and can't wait to see them all shine. And fear not, it will be equally as uplifting as heart-wrenching.
I'm equally excited and stressed about everything on my plate these days. I just hope I can get it all done. I have moments where I get so overwhelmed that I can't do anything. Actually, that's a lie. I have no trouble eating ice-cream and chocolate. I also can't stop thinking about what on earth I'm going to sing for Day 50. I've tried to write that song several times, and since I want it to be perfect (aka impossible), I'm always disappointed. It's extremely intimidating knowing that my story will be the only one that is not anonymous. I might as well be naked, haha.
Bouncing back to Positive Polly, my parents who live on the other side of the world might (big might) be able to make it to the show. To understand why this makes my wee little heart jump up and down ecstatically, you should know that my dad has never seen me perform before. Ever. My mother has seen me perform once. So it would pretty much be the greatest thing ever. *fingers crossed* :)
© 2014 Kelly Bazely