Fifty Days Underground

February 21, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A woman whose boyfriend recently suggested they take a break. The woman, lacking confidence in herself, kept her distance from him. After dating for nine months, he decided he was emotionally and mentally exhausted. They are taking a month's break and then will reevaluate the relationship. She is terrified of losing him. She undoubtedly pictures a future with him, and is prepared to fight for him.

The couple started to celebrate a lovely Valentine's Day together with candles, heart-shaped pizza, handmade gifts and wine. However, the woman broke down later that evening. She said that she needed to mend her confidence and become a stronger person. The next evening, the couple went out with another friend to celebrate the boyfriend's birthday. The woman kept running ahead of the group, affirming her independence. This upset the boyfriend.

This woman discovered my project on February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day. This is the first heartbreak story I've received that has taken place during my project. I don't know why, but there's something really surreal about that.

This song wasn't difficult for me to write. Why? Because it hits so close to home. I can completely relate to the heart wrenching fight for someone you love so deeply. And the fear that they won't come back to you. It's torturous. You become stuck in a world with the most beautiful memories dangling in front you, knowing you may never be with that person ever again. But I'll stop there... this is not my story, after all.

Where did you play?

Fulton Street. Hello, finance friends! 

How much did you earn?

$12.60

Did anything unusual happen?

I have a new fear of the finance district. There was something really terrifying about the crowds of businesspeople walking past me. They were definitely on a mission to get to work, and didn't seem too interested in stopping to chat about the project. I feel like this particular culture of New York City is the one I'm trying to reach out to the most, but now also realize that this audience intimidates me more than any other. So Fulton Street, Wall Street, World Trade Center... I'll be back to conquer you all. I will reach out to your hearts, and I will sing your stories! *evil laugh*  

I got asked out, haha. I have to give this person so much credit for his courage and bravery to approach me to ask me if I was single and for my number. Honestly, I know you all keep saying I'm brave for doing what I'm doing, but I can't say I would have the guts to do what that guy did today. So hats off to him. Because I know you're curious, I kindly declined saying I am not dating right now because of a recent breakup, but would be happy to discuss the project. He charmingly responded, "Just for record, it was his loss. It was really his loss." I think if he met my former other half, he might change his mind. :)

Did you meet anyone interesting?

Yes, actually. I chatted with the most pleasant older gentleman named Al. He told me his heartbreak story in person because he does not have a computer to e-mail it to me. Al fell in love with Pat in 2004, and allowed her and her daughter to move in with him because they were financially struggling. He supported and loved them for five years. Pat got her college education and managed to put her life together. Sadly once she did, she left him. He said he came home one day and they were gone. He still thinks about her all the time. Before he left, he asked me sing for him. We definitely had a moment. I sang my heart out, looking at him almost the whole time. He had so many compliments about my voice, and then became bitter by the fact that there are so many talented musicians playing in subway stations when they should be on stage.

I met a woman who was really touched by the project. She told me what I was doing was beautiful, and that meant so much to me. When I told her the project was about broken heart stories, she revealed to me that she married herself yesterday and showed me a little ring on her finger. I gave her a high five. The best relationship anyone should ever have is with themselves. I hope she sends her story.

I met another woman who was walking past me with husband, and as I started to sing, she immediately stopped and turned around. She stood there for a while, and looked quite captivated. She then approached me and asked me how long I had been playing. She told me about her son, who has a mental illness, but is an extremely talented pianist. He is applying to go to the Manhattan School of Music. I invited him to come out and play with me one day. Do you know when you sometimes just meet someone and can immediately tell that they have a beautiful heart? That was this woman.

I met a really friendly gentlemen who told me he didn't want to submit a broken heart story, but rather a love story. He has happily been in a relationship with his girlfriend for five and a half years. When I agreed to write a song for him, he asked me how much I charged. I told him it was free, but he refused that answer. He said I need to make a living and deserve to be compensated for my work. What a guy! He said he would e-mail me today because he does nothing at work. I responded, "That sounds like a great job." And he said, "I own the business. I don't have to do anything." He also told me that I was likely going to help him get laid. That's not something I ever thought my music had the power to do, but hey, whatever works!

There was a worker who read my sign and said, "Only fifty days?! I've been down here for four years!"

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

Al gave me some amazing advice today. He told me that life is full of surprises, and you never know what's going to come your way. But you have to make life true for yourself. He believes in helping people and having a good heart. A good heart will take you a long way. He also told me that my blessings are coming. And most importantly, he believes in a higher power. "You can call it Allah, Yahweh or whatever you want, but there is only one God." Al, you're my hero.

How are you feeling?

Good! Today turned out to be more exciting than I anticipated. I stayed up too late again writing today's song, and woke up late. I left my apartment half an hour later than usual, which is a big deal when you're trying to catch the morning commuters. When I first started playing for the masses of businesspeople, I had a feeling it wasn't going to be a great day. But on the contrary, I met so many incredible people today (mostly non-business). I keep checking my inbox to see if any of them have written as yet.

Today's song was bittersweet. It was emotionally hard to sing about because as I said earlier, I can relate to fighting for someone. But on the same token, I think it was somewhat healing. This week has been challenging. I don't feel like I'm creating my best music, but I'm not beating myself up about it. Also without diving too much into my own personal life, can I just say that I miss him? I miss him so much. I mean I'm happy, I've always been pretty good at making myself happy. But I don't know if I'll ever stop missing him as much as I do. I'm looking forward to the next stages in this project, and am going to try to come up with a few ideas to mix things up for you. As usual, thank you my dearest and sweetest humans (and non-humans) for following my journey.

© 2014 Kelly Bazely