Fifty Days Underground

March 12, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A couple nights ago, I got a call from a dear and close friend in tears, shattered and brokenhearted. I've known this woman for over a decade, and she has been a huge inspiration in my life. A very talented songstress with a heart full of faith and determination, I have nothing but respect for her.

She hit rock bottom. She's trying to finish her final two courses in school, get to work, get to church, find another job and finish her music projects. She lives far away from everything, her car broke down and she is financially broke so she can't get anywhere. She is currently living with someone in exchange for household chores. To top it off, her heart is completely broken from a recent breakup. She's fighting for her life.

Naturally, I told her to pour all of her heartache into her music only to find out that she pawned her instruments for money. As a musician, I can't fathom not being able to write songs during the darkest times in my life. If I had it, I would give her all the money in the world to help. All I can do is be there. I know she'll get through this. She's a warrior. And I have no doubt we'll all be watching her sing at The GRAMMYs in the near future.

Lost is a song about hitting rock bottom, and holding on to the a thin thread of hope for survival. She is brokenhearted, regretting mistakes that have led her to lose the love of her life. She's trying to trust God and just make it through this devastating time. She misses feeling like her heart has a home.

Where did you play?

South Congress Avenue in Austin, Texas.

How much did you earn?

$4.40 - What can I say? I'm competing with all the SXSW musicians! I also only had an hour to perform.

Did anything unusual happen?

Not particularly. I was really nervous to play in Austin. I felt really out of my element and was paranoid that the project wouldn't be as well-received here as it has in New York City. I think maybe my nerves came across and affected my performance. One woman walked by and told me I sounded great, but to keep my head up and stop looking down. People definitely took more time to stop and listen, which was great but also really nerve raking. I've never really had a crowd like that watching me before.

It was certainly nice to be playing in the sunshine for a change. It was really windy though, and my sign and index cards kept flapping around. I do think wearing my sunglasses might have been a mistake because I wasn't able to engage eye contact with anyone which I think makes a huge difference. Lots of people read the sign but I didn't have as many people as I would have liked stopping and asking questions about the project. Still, I managed to pass out a few cards.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

A group of people stopped by and chatted with me about the project. One girl, a poet, recently went through a breakup and said she would send some of her poetry for me to use to write a song.

There was a little girl walking by with her mom and she got really excited when she saw my keyboard. She walked away yelling, "I want to play piano! Mommy, can I play the piano?" The thought of inspiring that little girl to play the piano made my day. :)

My dearest friend that I am visiting here came along with me to listen, shoot some video footage and pass out business cards. She then treated me to a delicious chai tea latte afterwards. I feel very lucky.

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

"Keep your head up."

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling pretty good. I'm laying out in the sun in Austin so I can't really complain. I went to my best friend's wedding last weekend which was extremely beautiful and emotional. Watching her bawl her eyes out as she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white gown definitely pulled my heart strings. I'm not a crier, but I was definitely weeping. There's nothing more heartwarming than seeing those you love so happy.

I drove her car back alone that night, listening to some intense songs while driving down dark, windy roads in the middle of nowhere. It was one of those blissful, emotional drives of crying and singing at the top of my lungs (I know you've had them too). I guess had a girl moment. Thoughts of him definitely flooded my mind that day. It was to be expected, but it was still annoyingly painful. I ended up having a lovely little chat with Dios.

I've discovered one thing that helps with moving on is knowing the other person is moving on. It's hard, but it leaves you with no other choice but to move forward with your life and focus on new horizons. I often forget how grand this world is and how much it has to offer to all of us. I've been in a really healthy mental place lately, and I think getting away from the city has been a huge part of that. I'm hoping it won't be snowing when I get back, and spring will welcome me with open arms.

I've decided to take out $200 of my subway donations and send it to this woman. I know she needs it more than I do right now, and it's the least I can do to help her out. This project is about healing hearts after all. Hopefully it gets her closer to fixing her car or getting her instruments back. At the end of the day, all we have are those we love and those who love us. I can't think of anything more important in my life than the people in it. 

I'm curious to see how my next Austin performance will go because I really want to connect with these Austinites! I'll have to take my sunglasses off and pour out all my happy, bubbly positive energy vibes. Keep sending stories - I have tons more songs to write and you are my inspiration.

© 2014 Kelly Bazely