Fifty Days Underground

March 28, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A woman who broke up with her boyfriend of a year and a half, but still hopes that they'll find a way back to each other in the future. He was her first love, and she can't imagine spending her life with anybody else. They broke up because they were at different places in their lives. He needed some space for personal growth, and without realizing it, she probably did too.

The woman spent most of her life moving around, dating here and there, but never finding anyone she felt worth fighting for. She started losing faith that she would ever meet someone who would understand her heart. And then she met him. He was everything she dreamed of, and it terrified her. Afraid to trust, the relationship took time to blossom. But once she let her guard down, she fell in love quickly and deeply. They made a home together. And it was like magic.

I wrote the F Train a few days after we broke up. That time in my life is such a blur to me because I was so devastated. We still lived together for a couple of weeks after we broke up, and continued to love each other like nothing had happened. If anything, we loved each other harder because we knew it was the end. It was a few days before his birthday. I remember making him a little book of drawings of all of our inside jokes so he wouldn't forget any of them.

We spent every morning walking to the F train together to go to work. It's one of my favorite memories. Being goofy in the mornings while getting ready, listening to music and then holding hands on our way to the train. We'd read the news and he would always have a quote of the day to share with me. Then I'd kiss him goodbye before I got off at my stop. As I wrote this song, I thought of all the memories we had made together. I was so heartbroken, and remember crying as I wrote it. I had this fear that he would forget me, stop loving me and move on without me. I didn't want any of it to end.

I could go into every lyric of this song but I won't. This is just the beginning of my story, and I believe in leaving some mystery for the listener. More importantly, I want to keep it between me and him. What you should know though is that this song was my first real heartbreak song, and also the fire that ignited the Fifty Days Underground project.

Where did you play?

34th St. – Herald Square

How much did you earn?

$16.20

Did anything unusual happen? 

I was fortunate enough to play with Seth and Sean again today. It's been such a thrill for me to play with these two gifted musicians this week, and I know I'm going to miss both the company and talent when I'm by myself next week. We were lucky to find a prime performing spot at Herald Square with tons of foot traffic.

There was a man who was slightly out of it, but came up to listen to us. I gave him a card explaining the project, and he said he had a great heartbreak story to share. He sat down next to a pillar and watched us perform. He looked very moved by the notes we were playing and words we were singing. I guess he must have really enjoyed it because he closed his eyes and fell asleep! A little while later, a cop came to wake him up. He fell over because his legs fell asleep but then managed to get himself up and walked away.

More people picked up cards today than yesterday. One man asked us if we had a YouTube channel that he could check out. A few people stopped to take photos and videos, and a few people actually started clapping at the end of a few songs. Sean attracted an audience again with his amazing cello playing, and a man came by to give a donation saying that he loved the cello. 

Did you meet anyone interesting?

A woman waiting for her friend listened to us and started clapping for us. I gave her a card and we chatted for a little bit. She was really friendly, gave us a generous donation and continued to listen while waiting for her friend. A few people stopped to listen today, but we didn't have too many long conversations with anyone.

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

Today's advice came from Seth and Sean's brother, who told us to keep looking for a better performing location within the station. I'm glad he did because we ended up finding a great spot. 

How are you feeling?

Fulfilled and exhausted. I actually just woke up from a nap that I accidentally took when I started writing this blog post. I'm continuing to soak in the wonderful opportunity of playing with other musicians this week, and also having someone to shoot all the great footage. I feel so blessed, and wish it could last forever!  

It was somewhat emotionally hard to sing today's song. I haven't sung it in a while, and it definitely brought back past feelings to the surface. But you know, as much as they are heart wrenching feelings, they are equally beautiful and they are love. Despite the heartbreak I've been through, I have absolutely no regrets. The love outweighs the heartbreak by a long shot.

Tomorrow will be my final performance with Seth and Sean. I'm really looking forward to it, but also sad that our playing together is coming to an end. Hopefully we don't put anyone else to sleep! Haha. As always, thank you so much for continuing this journey with me.

© 2014 Kelly Bazely