Fifty Days Underground

January 24, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A young woman struggling in her relationship with a soldier who has post-traumatic stress disorder.

I knew I wanted to use the idea of war as a metaphor for the battle in their relationship. And as I started throwing in gun shots, desert storms and bloodshed, my vision came alive.

I think the feeling of wanting to fix someone you love who is broken is a relatable one. It's devastating to see someone you love in such a dark place, and even more excruciating when you realize the only way to help them is to let them go so they can help themselves.

The song is morbid and heart-wrenching. But there's love. And there's hope. If you haven't caught on, there's usually always a thread of hope in my songs. 

Where did you play?

I played at the 14th St. F/M stop - first Manhattan station! The musician from Wednesday was right - that station had great acoustics. It wasn't too crowded because I missed most of rush hour - whoops (I accidentally slept in because I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning writing today's song). 

How much did you earn?

$20.50 (beats yesterday's income!)

Did anything unusual happen?

Certainly not as exciting as yesterday, but I was happy not to get a handcuff and bologna sandwich invitation today. It was a pretty calm station. I had my first creeper interaction, unfortunately. There was some guy (not all there) standing in front of me, staring with his mouth wide open (apparently mama never told him about catching flies). He stuck around for a little too long, and then sat on the bench next to me. He took off his shoes (might as well get comfy) and continued to play the staring game. When I realized we were the only two people there, I decided it was time for a tea break. I got honey in my hair, which is not unusual, but just flat out sad. I went back to sing, and a group of people clapped and whistled after I finished singing today's song. That was really touching. On a more annoying note, one of the F keys on my keyboard broke. Of course it had to be the most important one in the middle of the instrument. So my newest challenge is to write 47 more songs without that note. Or you know, try to get it fixed. Sigh.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

An older lady with a beautiful accent, wearing a regal fur coat. She stopped to ask me questions about keyboards because she wanted to purchase one. We chatted for a while about brands, prices, etc. I asked her if she played, and she laughed, saying she is just about to start taking lessons. She seemed slightly embarrassed, and said she wanted to keep her brain working. I thought it was absolutely fabulous, and didn't hold back in letting her know. It is never too late to start anything in life, and I truly admire her for learning something new. I also was lucky enough to have another visitor today! I have the greatest friends.

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

I don't think I received any advice. To be honest, I'm so tired that I can't remember much of what happened today (zombie mode). My advice to myself is to get more sleep!

How are you feeling?

Exhausted. I'm loving and soaking in every moment of this project, but I'm definitely tired. It's a lot of work, all of which I enjoy doing, but still takes a lot out of me. I'm excited to sleep in tomorrow morning! I'm playing with an awesome musician and friend tomorrow evening so that should be fun.

I'm feeling very accomplished. I'm proving to myself that I can do things that I never thought I could do, like writing songs in a day and performing in front of large crowds of strangers. It's made me realize how many excuses I make up for not doing other things in my life. I'm feeling stronger, braver, more confident and more self-aware. I feel like I'm finally doing something that matters, something for other people, and that is the greatest reward.

I'm know I keep saying it, but I do feel very blessed and grateful for all of the support and encouragement. I hope you are enjoying these songs, blogs and videos as much as I am enjoying creating them.

© 2014 Kelly Bazely