Fifty Days Underground

April 11, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A woman who had her heart broken from an unhealthy relationship. Her boyfriend of almost a year wasn't giving her the respect nor love she deserved. When they were together, it was wonderful and she truly loved him. But when they were apart, he was very distant. He never wanted to talk or express emotions. He wouldn't respond to her texts, phone calls and would never say, "I love you." This made her feel very insecure and inferior.

She began to doubt everything in her life including her appearance, career and self-worth. She became depressed, feeling stuck in a very dark place. She knew she had to let him go in order to be happy again. So last week, she found the courage to do just that. Immediately after she broke up with him, she felt completely liberated, like a huge weight had been lifted from her. She proved to herself that she loves herself enough to know what she deserves. And now she feels like her confident self again.

I Love Myself More Than You is a song all about knowing your self-worth. I was really excited to write this song because my mantra is all about being your own best friend. I think everyone struggles with insecurities at some point in their lives, and I think it's always possible to conquer them. I love that this woman was able to stick up for herself and put her happiness first even though she really loved this man. The song speaks for itself. And I'm happy I got to share this powerful story and message through my music.  

Where did you play?

Lexington Avenue—59th St.

How much did you earn?

$37.12

Did anything unusual happen? 

The most beautiful event happened today. I was playing on a crowded platform, and noticed a dark-skinned man with long dreadlocks leaning against a billboard. He balanced a bottle of water on the top of the billboard, and then started scribbling in a notebook. I was expecting a reporter to come meet me today, so I thought that was him. I thought he was being journalistic and disguising himself with the crowd, observing from a distance. But about an hour and a half later, the man walked up to me and gave me the most beautiful drawing of myself performing. I was so touched and very impressed with his detail and accuracy. His name was Stanley, and we chatted about art, music, stories and life. Even after giving me that incredible gift, he dropped a donation into my keyboard case. He wouldn't let me pay him for the drawing, but I insisted. I am thrilled to have that to frame and to remember this time in my life forever. His drawing truly filled my heart today, and I can only hope I'm giving people half of that fullness through writing songs for them. This might be my favorite Fifty Days Underground moment thus far.

There was a little girl (maybe about 6 or 7 years old) who watched me perform while her and her mother waited for their train. She was adorable. She kept telling her mother to watch me, and then asked her if she could give me money. Her mother said no, but I thought it was so cute.

Some people walk by with the most confused faces when they read my sign, and I can't help but laugh. There was a man who picked up a card and didn't understand why he needed to send me his story. He seemed really concerned. So I finally said, "Don't worry. You don't have to do anything." Haha. Overall though, today was really successful. A lot of people showed interest in the project.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

I met the sweetest older woman who asked me if I could tune my keyboard. One thing I've noticed with humans is that they usually ask a question when they have something they want to share with you. She told me that her husband, who passed away five years ago, was an amazing piano tuner. He didn't play the piano, but he had an incredible ear for tuning. He used to tune the pianos at an institution for the blind. And then she said with so much passion and love, "He was such a great man." I'll never forget the smile on her face when she said those words. True love.  

There was a man who dropped a donation in my case, and then stood by me for a while. When I finished playing, he started asking about what kind of keyboard I had and if I liked it. He said he was looking for something light. He was running onto the train, and we were yelling Casio 2300 back and forth to each other until the doors closed. It was pretty funny.

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

There was a man who dropped a donation in my keyboard case just as he was about to get on the train. He leaned into my ear and said, "Sing to the Lord." And then he said, "God bless you." Talk about powerful advice.

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling really happy! Stanley totally made my day with that drawing. I can't think of a more perfect gift to remember this time in my life. I'm somewhat stressed because I've decided to play both Saturday and Sunday this weekend, and tomorrow is a big day. But I'll save that news for tomorrow's blog. I'll also be working full-time for the next three weeks, so it will be interesting trying to juggle the project on top of that. But I'm getting close now! Overall, it feels like it's gone really fast! I know I'm going to miss it when it's done, but hopefully the excitement of my next few projects will take over.

On that note, I should get to work on tomorrow's song. It's a tough subject to write about. I do want to thank you all once more for continuing to support and follow me on this journey. There's no way I would be able to do it without your encouragement. It's what keeps me going, especially on the hard days. In light of today's song and message, I hope you all can spend some time loving yourselves today and recognizing your own self-worth. We are all imperfectly perfect.

© 2014 Kelly Bazely