Fifty Days Underground

May 10, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A woman who was in a relationship with a man, not knowing he was still engaged to someone else. She met him in her last semester of university. He was her first love. All her life, she felt insecure and incapable of love. When she met him, she was so attracted that she thought she had met the one. He was the first person she truly opened up to. He was engaged to someone else at the time, and complained about her constantly. He put his fiancée in a negative light. This made the woman feel sorry for him, and question why he stayed with her.

A few days before Christmas, he confessed his feelings for the woman. He said his fiancée knew and they were breaking up. The woman still proceeded cautiously, not feeling right about the situation. But after her friends urged her to be more open, she fell deeply in love with him. He said he wanted an informal relationship, and that he might get back together with his ex-fiancée in the future. However, as their relationship progressed, he told her that he had never loved anyone as much as he loved her, he wanted to be her boyfriend and have children with her one day. He even promised to buy her a ring and made plans for her to move in with him once she returned from a trip to Japan.

Then one morning in April, he told her that his ex-fiancée had gotten drunk and slapped him, demanding to go through his e-mails and messages. Later that night, she got a call from the ex-fiancée, and they messaged each other into the early hours of the morning. The woman found out that they were still engaged. She was devastated. The ex-fiancée had never gotten drunk, but rather found his cell phone with a text to the woman that said, "Goodnight, I love you." She found out that he had taken her to all the same places he had taken his ex-fiancée, including the park bench where he had proposed.

She had never felt so disgusted, ashamed and deceived. She was livid that she ignored her better judgement and put so much trust in him. The two women met in person and became good friends, realizing they both had many similar interests. They decided to help each other move on and stay away from him. He continued to reach out to both of them, tying to make it work. Although she was strong enough to let go, she learned that the ex-fiancée was contemplating getting back together with him. She asked me to write a song to inspire her to take the next step in the right direction.

Broken Pieces In The Sky is a song written from the perspective of several people with broken hearts, in this case the two women. My imagination was on a roll when I wrote this song, and I had a vivid vision of tons of broken pieces of hearts floating in a dark, cloudy sky with many people standing below trying to reach them, "barely still alive." They are screaming to let go, saying they don't need this person anymore. There's a lot of hope in this song, especially in the bridge. My favorite lines are, "Love will find us, we will trust again." This is the first song I've written on this journey so far with the notion of letting go and loving again in it. I tried my best to write something that would inspire both women in the situation.

Where did you play?

Columbus Circle – 59th St.

How much did you earn?

$5.12

Did anything unusual happen? 

After singing a few songs, I heard someone yell, "Hey, girl!" Victor, the congo drummer, was doing his usual rounds of performing on the express train. We chatted a bit about busking and collaborating in the future. He was working overtime that day to make enough money to buy something nice for this mother for Mother's Day. When I asked him what he was getting, he said he wasn't sure yet, but he knew it had to be something nice.

There was a group of kids with their parents, and they all got really excited when they saw me playing. Their dad gave them each a coin that they could come drop into my case one by one in a line. It was absolutely adorable.

Other than that, today was a somewhat anticlimactic day of performing. For whatever reason, I find weekenders less interested in chatting about the project. I think they're happy enjoying their days with family and friends, whereas the morning commuters are maybe trying to procrastinate going to work, haha. Still, Columbus Circle remains to be one of my favorite Saturday spots to perform. The weather is warming up, which is great, but I hope to be done before it gets scorching hot.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

I did not, which is probably a first! I'm also posting this blog way later than when I performed (tsk, tsk), so my recollection of that day is unfortunately vague.

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

No advice, so fun facts:

I find with the warmer weather, people are donating less. Maybe people pity buskers when it's cold out? 

Since I haven't been performing as much lately, I get way more nervous before each performance now.

The stories that I have been receiving in my inbox lately have been unusually long, intricate, emotional and beautifully written.

How are you feeling?

Because this blog post is delayed, I'm going to have to go with how I'm feeling today because I can't remember how I was feeling when I performed this song. I'm quite embarrassed and feeling guilty that it's taken this long to post this blog. I was fortunate enough to have a part-time job for most of this project that allowed me to stick to a routine where I was able to perform four days a week. However, this month has primarily been full-time jobs, and needless to say, it's been a struggle to keep up with the project. I have no regrets because well, money is survival. Fortunately, I am now just doing small photo gigs so I should have plenty of time to finish these last few days once and for all.

I have a lot of adrenaline as I get back into this project. I have missed it immensely and have been craving to sing every day, especially now that I’m so close to the end. So I am thrilled to be back and to put my all into the final stretch. It’s kind of scary how quickly I can become uninspired and dissatisfied working in an office again on a daily basis. It's great to be back doing something rewarding, something that makes me feel full and alive. Your support has been unbelievable. In fact, I recently met a woman who has been following my project since the beginning. Honestly, I can't say I would have gotten this far without your encouragement. Thank YOU.

OK... I think it’s time to announce one of the surprises. Fanfare please (because everyone always does drumrolls)… I am beyond excited to announce the Fifty Days Underground show at The Cutting Room on July 26th at 9:30p.m. Save the date! You won’t want to miss this very exciting performance. It’s going to be a selection of my favorite songs collaborated with some of my favorite subway (and non-subway) musicians. You’ll also get some beautiful and heart-wrenching reenactments of some of the stories you’ve read so far, as well as interviews with some of our story submitters. You’ve already been a huge part of this journey through your computer screen, but now I’m inviting you to be a part of it in real life. It's going to be grand. :) Teasers to come!

© 2014 Kelly Bazely