Fifty Days Underground

June 9, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A man who took the love of his life for granted before she passed away a few years ago. He lived with her for many years, but never married her. He devoted all of his time to work, and forgot about spending time with her. It's his biggest regret, and he would do anything to change it. He fears she passed away form a broken heart, and he misses her every minute of the day. He titled his e-mail, "Why do you hurt the one that loves you more than you will ever know?" 

I Wish I Could Love You Every Day depicts this man's sorrow and brokenness from losing the woman he loves. He talks about living with her ghost, and pours out his deepest regrets of not appreciating her when she was alive.

Where did you play?

7th Ave./9th St. in Brooklyn.

How much did you earn?

$20.25

Did anything unusual happen? 

I stayed up till the wee hours of the morning writing today's song, and was anxious about it not being good enough. To my surprise, it was very well-received. I had quite a few donators and card takers today. I like the 7th Ave./9th St. station because it's not too loud, and people can actually hear me.

Sometimes between songs, my voice needs a little rest. So I'll noodle around on the piano playing the few classical songs I still know by memory. It's also a great way to weed out the classical junkies in the crowd, haha. I had one woman come up to me immediately and started naming the songs and composers of what I was playing. I was somewhat embarrassed because I honestly can't remember the names of all of them. She asked me to play some more classical, but I froze and told her she should play instead, haha. She played a beautiful song (didn't catch the name) before she had to run to catch her morning train. It was such a treat to listen to her play.

There was an adorable little girl in bright red rain boots that came up to give me a donation with a huge smile on her face. Another precious little girl with red hair walked by with her dad. The next thing I know, she peeped her head around the corner and snatched one of my cards. There was another little girl in her pram who stared at me intently when her family was waiting for the train. When I finished the song, she clapped her hands loudly. It's so great seeing all these kids when I perform now that school is over. 

There was a man who came over and listened intently, nodding in approval while I sang. He gave me a generous donation and picked up a card. I'll never fully be able to express my gratitude for those who take their time to truly listen.

There was a blond woman who stopped to listen. She had a huge smile on her face as she watched me singing, "Out Of This World." She came up to donate and take a card once I finished the song. There are rare moments I have with particular people sometimes that I can't explain. But the energy in those moments is amazing. This woman actually reminded me of the reason I am doing this project. It's too easy to forget sometimes. But that connection is everything and more.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

There was an older man in a slick suit who approached me to say hello. He gave me a dollar and stood right in front of me to hear me sing. It was slightly intimidating as he was watching me closely the entire time, but it was also a huge adrenaline rush and inspired me to sing my heart out. I messed up slightly before the bridge, and he joked about wanting his dollar back. Before he got on the train, he told me I had a really sweet voice. He had such a friendly and positive energy about him, and I am extremely grateful that he took his time to give my music his undivided attention this morning.

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

The older man in the suit told me I needed a microphone. That would probably be the main thing I'd change if I were to do this all over again.

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling proud of myself for waking up early this morning despite going to bed late, and trudging in the pouring rain with my keyboard to go perform. I had an off week last week (as did many people apparently). It started off okay, but I got into a funk where I wasn't motivated to do anything. Instead of looking forward to writing songs and performing them, I started dreading it and found excuses not to do it. I actually get terrified when that happens to me, mainly because I thrive off of being productive. When I'm busy, I'm happy. When I'm not, I can fall into a dark hole pretty quickly. I think the most frustrating part about being in that state is being fully aware of what I need to change, but not being able to do it. Anyhow, with a pray and promise to myself last night, I decided this week will be different. This week, I will conquer.

Today's story really put some perspective into my life. It's so easy to allow our miniscule problems to grow into giant blobs that take over our lives. Despite going through a breakup last year and losing the one that I loved, I am so fortunate for all of the love that continues to grow around me. My family, my friends, and even my very old cat... this story inspired me to spend my Sunday talking to those I love and reminding them of how important they are to me. Life is too short. I've been so engulfed in my own tangled ball of stress, that I've forgotten to step back and appreciate everyone and everything around me. I hope that this man's story can inspire you like it has for me.

Five more to go... it's the final countdown!

© 2014 Kelly Bazely