Fifty Days Underground

February 5, 2014

Who inspired today's broken heart song?

A young man who lost faith and hope in life until he met a girl. And then they broke up. And now, well, I'm not sure...

This person is an incredibly talented writer, so I just used his written words for the lyrics. One line in particular set my imagination on fire: "The rain drops falling from the sky one at a time; plummeting despair down on you like suicide jumpers to their final desperate breath." This inspired me to make the music mimic rain. The rest was pretty simple - I wanted to paint the beautiful imagery he gave me into music.

He talks about a time in his life when he was younger when he dreamed, created and lived life to the fullest. And as he grew older, the sorrows of life began to weigh him down, and he became lost. Nothing changed for years until he met this girl. After they broke up, I imagined him going back into the darkness, "We're going down, down, down to the bottom of the world," and dying to hold on to the feelings he had when he was with her, "I don't want to let go, go, go of our castle in the sky."  

Where did you play?

47-50th Street-Rockefeller Center.

How much did you earn?

$13.51

Did anything unusual happen?

There was a woman who walked by me, and then came back a few minutes later to drop some change into my case. She then looked up at me, smiled and said, "God bless you." For some reason, that really warmed my heart today.

I've been having a lot of fun watching people while I sing. I hate to say it but people really are like sheep. If one person decides to stop, listen and watch, others tend to follow and an audience forms rather quickly. It's usually all or nothing. If one person cares, everyone cares and if no one cares, well then no one cares, haha. Having said that, I am really grateful to have shared another beautiful moment with an audience today. It felt intense and emotional. Those moments are my bliss.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

I had a few visitors again today! I know, I'm a lucky girl. These are actually friends from The Netherlands, one of who I have known for over twenty years. So that was pretty special. They treated me to some delicious hot chocolate afterwards.

Otherwise, no in depth conversations with anyone today. A few people wished me good luck and thanked me for the music.

What's the best advice you received from a stranger?

No advice again today - I'm going to have to start asking!

How are you feeling?

Pretty good, actually! I am quite happy about how today's song came out, and with today's performance. People seemed genuinely interested, and I think I gave out more cards today than I have any other day. The fact that I get an e-mail in my inbox from at least one person who saw me on the subway platform every day is a really positive sign.

Something else I've noticed is how my energy can affect my performance and the feedback I get from people. Today I felt really positive, and I could tell that energy spread because people were really receptive to my performance and project. When I have an off day, people generally don't notice me or my music, and I think that's mainly because no one wants to be immersed in negative energy. I think that philosophy can be applied for almost everything in life.

One of my friends asked me today if this feels like a job. The answer is 100% yes. This is definitely a full-time job for the days I am doing it, and more exhausting than my office job. I love every moment of it though, even the challenges that I face along the way. But I forgot something. I forgot how much music heals me. I was feeling stressed out last night, and tried to do everything in my power to calm myself down - clean, drink tea, meditate... and then I sat down at the piano and started writing this song. Within an instant, I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I feel silly that I forgot that music has never failed to be there for me when I need it most. And I'm so grateful that I can share it with you on this journey.

Thank you again for your support and encouragement. I am going to need some more stories soon though so please keep sending them, and tell your friends to send theirs as well. On a completely random note, Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls Chase Boys" is the best thing in my life right now. Give it a listen slash dance! :)

© 2014 Kelly Bazely